Wednesday, March 23, 2011

process with me

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  - Philippians 4:6

On a normal day I'm totally with ya Paul.  I get it.  I will not worry.  I give it to you Lord.  'I am so obedient to God's Word' I think.  That is, until there is something to stew about.  And tonight there's some stewing a brewing.  My brain will not turn off.  My heart wants to turn off.  My husband probably wants my mouth to turn off.  My head, oh my head.  Just keeps turning things around.

I need to break this verse down:

Do not- I really can't misinterpret that.... do not

be anxious- if I replace that with some synonyms it could read:
    Do not be fearful, discouraged, perplexed, upset, uneasy....
Which of course is precisely how my wordly perspective wants me to feel right now.  I need to make a decision about next year and I am thrown.  I thought I knew.  I thought I had a plan, but now I don't, which has caused me to be fearful, discouraged, perplexed, upset, uneasy... you know- anxious.

about anything- yes, even this Amy

but in everything- sometimes I want to categorize things.  Like this pile is the big stuff I am not going to worry about, let God handle it- the kids safety at school, world peace, my own health... but this other pile is so small surely God will allow me to worry about it.  But "everything" is that little pile too. 

by prayer and petition- did you know prayer is a noun?  and petition is a verb?  I thought they were pretty much the same thing.  But I think God is telling me that one requires some action.  So stop wasting my time on the action of worry, and change it to the action of petitioning Him.

with thanksgiving- well now there.... that changes things.  If I look at the idea of decision making as a blessing, it gives me hope.  An antonym for thanks is curse.  Which is exactly what I have been giving myself with my worry. 

present your requests to God-  I am now ready to do so.  Through dissecting this verse, God has cleansed my heart.  Purified me to see Him in the decision making process.  Now I can lay before my beloved my heart. 

This doesn't mean I know what to do about next year.  But the peace, oh the peace that comes with reading His Word is worth more than any answer I could come up with right now. 

Isn't it funny how I printed that verse out for my daughter earlier tonight, but I am the one who needed it.... funny?  Or divine?!?!

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